Peaches Geldof Is Dead But Don’t Say Why

By Lex April 07, 2014 @ 7:51 PM

When did we decide that assuming is such a horrible offense? I know, assuming makes an ass out of you and me. Or, it makes me figure shit out ten times faster than you and be right nine times out of ten. It’s part of the brain function of humans that allows us to react faster to situations presented to us than the animals we keep as pets or boil for dinner. People who keep an open mind are kind, gentle, benevolent creatures who come in last place in everything. You want Columbo to figure shit out in an hour or you want him to spend eight weeks following up on stuff he knows is a waste of time? This is the kind of thinking that gets granny genital pat downs at LAX.

Bob Geldof’s model and TV host daughter Peaches died early this morning but we’re not supposed to say why. This is one of those media contrivances when young public figures previously involved with drugs die and we pretend that maybe it was a sudden onset of Lyme disease caught hiking on a Match.com date. We don’t want to assume. Philip Seymour Hoffman could’ve been hit by a bus, in his apartment bathtub with the needles. Maybe Dead Cory Monteith choked to death on his own spit while trying to a capella any Kate Bush song in his Vancouver hotel room. I understand telling kids that their old dog went to live on a farm and telling all service members’ families that their loved one died a hero. Because children don’t process like adults and because people who serve others deserve that blanket respect. But young celebrities with drug histories and heroin overdosed moms who drop dead themselves suddenly in the quiet alone of their homes or hotel rooms, let’s just go ahead and call that drug related. It’s horrible and sad but saying she went to go live on a farm seems a bit silly for grown ups to tell each other. If you assume wrong, later on, you say I’m sorry, but I think you can understand why I thought it was drugs. And the other person will honestly reply back, I know, we all did. And then we’ll all work together to find the space alien with the ray gun that really killed Peaches Geldof.

wwtdd

(8) Comments

  1. avatar
    Beylerbey 04/07/2014 20:07

    Sad day. I admire Bob for the activism he’s done on behalf of divorced fathers (if you can get past the Feed Africa horseshit).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHkbYvkRO-g

  2. avatar
    Toast 04/07/2014 20:49

    Just another drug addict…..

  3. avatar
    cykepufaba 04/07/2014 22:22

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    I checked with the BBB and was told that it is all legit. How they can sell gift cards, laptops, cameras, and all kinds of goodies that we all want for 50-90% off, I don’t know I do know that I bought my son an ipad there for less than $100 and my husband a $250 Low gift
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  4. avatar
    TheBlogtini 04/08/2014 11:19

    What a horrible, hateful thing to say. Perhaps you should check your facts before doing such vile “reporting.” There were no drugs found in her home, and she had been actively posting on Social Media just a few minutes before her death (about cute outfits she bought for her son, etc). They are speculating that she died of cardiac arrest due to a diet she was on (extreme dieting, none the less – juicing).

    To say that since she died at a young age it must be drugs, when they’ve basically already ruled out drug use is irresponsible to your audience and insensitive to her memory and her family.

  5. avatar
    Pitbulllover 04/08/2014 15:40

    Oh, boo hoo hoo. The Geldoffs are basically the Hiltons or Kardashians of the UK – famous for doing nothing except “fashion” and being on tv. You don’t have to be doing drugs the second before you die to “die from drugs.” She probably did enough in her lifetime to kill a rhino. Oh, and another thing, drug addicts lie. Duh!

  6. avatar
    Admiral 04/08/2014 22:05

    If she died from juicing that’s basically the same thing as dying from a drug overdose – they’re both a combination of ignorance, poor decisions, and substance abuse.

  7. avatar
    Beylerbey 04/08/2014 22:26

    And her name didn’t help. Just sayin.

  8. avatar
    Mike Judge 04/08/2014 22:49

    I wondered why I still read all of the horrible crap that was written on this site for years. Why did I stick with it?

    This post is why. That’s the best written thing I’ve ever seen here. Well done.

    Oh yeah …. absolutely nobody is shocked with this outcome. You are? Bullshit.

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