Good Looking Young Women Want the Right to Breastfeed in Public

By Lex May 09, 2014 @ 4:38 PM


We have a scourge in this country. A widespread attack on women breastfeeding in public. The streets run red in America with the spilled blood of nursing moms. So a few good looking college kids in Texas began a campaign showing hot girls like themselves breastfeeding in dirty public toilet stalls, because if the middle of the public square is off limits, apparently hep-C ridden stalls is the priority backup. I must admit, the thought of mother having to rifle past spent needles and crap smells and George Michael smiling at you knowingly in a public toilet just to feed their child seems like the kind of thing we need to stop. A law seems right. The law would protect would protect women from being arrested for breastfeeding in public, reducing the number of such arrests from zero to an even smaller number. The law would also protect boob-baring moms from being harassed by the uneducated, slack jaw masses, you know, like all those current laws that prevent people from saying stupid mean shit to you in public now. Just this morning a guy shouted at me that I drive like a fucking retard. I pointed out his legal overreach and he quickly apologized and retracted his statement. Laws are awesome like that.

(7) Comments

  1. avatar
    Beylerbey 05/09/2014 19:43

    They should show the girls in a filthy basement in Stalingrad, circa 1942. Go all the way or forget it.

  2. avatar
    Admiral 05/09/2014 20:06

    This post cracked me up – good one!

    I’ve got nothing against breast feeding other than the fact that if a woman is holding something to her chest, I want to know what it is. Is it a bomb? And of course my curiosity gets to me and I glance down at what’s going on there and as I look up it’s always the same steely-eyed look I get from the woman, like I’m trying to cop a view of her nipple like some pervert. Damn, woman, NO – The last thing I want to see in public is your nasty, misshapen nipple dripping in oily chest-borne secretions mixed with slimy baby spittle.

  3. avatar
    Admiral 05/09/2014 20:09

    I don’t understand what’s wrong with doing that in the bathroom. Take a shit while you’re feeding your baby – kill two birds with one stone!

  4. Vikki Burtonile 05/10/2014 13:41

    ok dude..

  5. Vikki Burtonile 05/10/2014 13:42

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  6. avatar
    nashville37211 05/10/2014 16:21

    is that rae dawn chong?

  7. avatar
    Zorbitor 05/11/2014 10:19

    Just in time for Mother’s Day

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