Brazil’s Miss Ass Isn’t In Brazil

By Lex June 16, 2014 @ 11:15 AM

Brazilian Miss Butt Andressa Urach Goes Topless On The Beach In Miami
You can only sleep with so many soccer players before FIFA is going to ask you to leave the host country. It’s some kind of rule to prevent international skirmishes from breaking out at the World Cup. Brazilian ass model Andressa Urach claims she slept with world famous soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo last year, because, well, it can’t hurt. She did win the Miss Butt Butt competition in Brazil a couple years ago and routinely gets wasted drunk on the local Big Brother ripoff. But that’s not the sum total of the career this super chunk assed bikini model wants. There was a time when these geek show mainstays couldn’t dream to reach higher than rapper booty call or dead barrio prostitute. But in 2014, if you’ve got big tits and a barrel-shaped ass, the sky’s the limit. Andressa, I hope you get everything you want. You seem sweet.

Photo Credit: Splash

(9) Comments

  1. avatar
    MacDaddy 06/16/2014 13:29

    I speak Angry-drunk Spanglish and she was saying:

    “I remember when What Would Tyler Durden Do was this great web site that took hot celebs and showed off their breasts and revealing crotch-shots and generally ripped them for their own self absorbed ways. But now that a$$hat Lex seems to run the show and can’t post anything worthy. His posts continue to be unfunny and in some cases make no sense what-so-ever. He even posts sh*t about nobody’s just because they are in a bikini to keep attention. Ohhhh how I miss the old Tyler!”

    Then she did some sobbing and wondered if anyone even heard of here before being posted on this site!

    Moral of the story…You suck Lex., I hope you don’t get paid for this!

  2. avatar
    BillyMitchellisaGoldenGod 06/16/2014 14:13

    Even more embarrassing is a man (presumably into females) taking the time to complain about a POS gossip web site. Let me guess bigg soccer fan?

  3. avatar
    Beylerbey 06/16/2014 15:20

    This is how all hookers are supposed to look. And you know she’s a good hooker from the insane non-English rambling.

  4. avatar
    Beylerbey 06/16/2014 15:21

    P.S. Well done, Mac. Maybe Lex could be replaced in a palace coup or something.

  5. avatar
    MUCS 06/16/2014 18:29

    I wish Doctress was around, she would makes things better.

  6. avatar
    Mud Nugget 06/16/2014 22:24

    I bet her farts are epic

  7. avatar
    DrainBammage 06/17/2014 00:16

    Let’s face it, this girl screams “rapper’s b1tch”.

    Well, that and “Black Gangbang Anal Creampie”

  8. Jonny Midnight 06/17/2014 02:48

    WOOF! I’m glad whichever modeling agency she works for has low standards. Big, unattractive, girls need work, too. I’m not down on her for how she looks, I am certainly no Adonis, but, then, I don’t walk around half naked, either, grossing people out.

  9. avatar
    Maybe_Observer 06/17/2014 09:21

    I that screeching big-titted harpy is Brazilian….isn’t she mewling in Port-a-gee…???

    MacDaddy makes a lot of historically sensible points……

You must be to post a comment.