Casey Cohen Didn’t Have Sex With Jay Z According to Casey Cohen

By Lex June 13, 2014 @ 1:15 PM

You know people are serious when they send the cease and desist letter. Those cost you about a buck fifty now on Legal Zoom. Casey Cohen sent one to Bauer Media because they own In Touch and Life and Style magazine that first printed the story about the nightclub hostess, art major, and reality TV performer (damn, she’s triple booked) riding Jay Z’s scratchy thing. The last thing a nightclub hostess from Long Island wants is unwanted attention for sleeping with famous celebrities. I guess Jay Z didn’t feel the same because he’s yet to log onto Legal Zoom.

Casey’s letters call the allegations “foul and phony” and says she’s never been “in love with or intimate with Jay Z”, excluding hundred dollar tips teased into her panties, naturally. You may recall that Tom Cruise sued the same magazine in 2012 for $50 million for claiming he abandoned that pain in the ass Suri after his divorce from Katie Holmes. Tom eventually settled the case for a half-hearted apology from Bauer when he was informed the deposing attorneys could ask him about licking Nutella off of Icelandic mens’ nut sacks while his daughter was in New York crying in her bed wondering where daddy was. Casey Cohen doesn’t have the legal muster of Tom Cruise and his Xenu backed intergalactic militia, so expect Bauer to stick to the unassailable validity of their anonymous, single sourced story.

Photo credit: CaseyLCohen/Instagram

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    BillyMitchellisaGoldenGod 06/13/2014 13:42


  2. avatar
    miche the killer 06/13/2014 15:07

    To be fair, putting out a cease & desist is the first step in suing the pants off them & earning a fat check by pulling yourself up by your Louboutin bootstraps to achieve that American Dream all these rich pricks are always making us lazy plebs pay for.

  3. avatar
    Beylerbey 06/13/2014 15:23

    Once you go black, they won’t let you back into temple.

    Or your mother gets all weepy talking about the million man march, depending on how self-hating the family is.

  4. avatar
    BillyMitchellisaGoldenGod 06/13/2014 17:14

    She has a very punchable face

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