Jonah Hill and his ‘no, this isn’t a joke, I’m really horribly sorry for calling somebody a faggot’ tour made a whistle stop on the Tonight Show last night. There’s no real bigger celebrity mea culpa stage than the Tonight Show. Celebrities, politicians, and wacky zoo animals have been going on that show for decades now and asking a sympathetic studio audience and the rest of America for forgiveness. Jonah added some choked up, tearful pauses to his previous apology runs, making this jaded viewer cry right along with him. He also appended the letter ‘Q’ to the LGBT acronym. ‘Questioning’ has only recently become a common add-on to the traditional activist moniker, providing bona fides for Jonah’s true gay good guy insider status. Jonah’s apology tour next takes him to Ellen who will gently ease her strap-on into his mouth while forcing him to admit that Portia tastes just like cinnamon. Then she’ll piss on his feet and dub him free of homophobia. At some point, this fat fuck needs to stop putting himself through the hand-ringer and get back to hugging all those gay best friends and co-workers he keeps mentioning.
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