There was a time when I was pretty sure Leonardo DiCaprio was gay. He’s kind of fetching and that whole supermodel dating thing has been a long time down low cover for male celebrities. But now I realize I was blinded by jealousy. Pure, green-eyed monster bullshit that rendered me short of objective judgement. Leonardo DiCaprio is banging the world’s hottest women with accents. At some point, he will have plowed the best looking 5,000 women from nations where elected officials promise voters two square meals a day and a carton of Camels. To expedite his assembly line junk dipping, Leo rented one of the world’s largest yachts, filled it with a few dozen girls in bikinis, and sailed it to Brazil for the World Cup. He’s not actually sailing it, he’s fulfilling his manifest destiny girl by girl in the master cabin below. Leo, you’re my hero. Not that you couldn’t be my hero if you had filled your super yacht with man-brawn and lube. It’s just a different hoop.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI