Miss Indiana Is Normal

By Matt June 11, 2014 @ 9:35 AM

Hot Miss Indiana

Twitter erupted during the Miss USA Pageant with praise from women happy to see Miss Indiana and what they referred to as a normal sized woman. That means unlike her beanpole competitors, she sucked on more than one chili dog outside the Tastee Freez. Fat acceptance advocates think that sporting a gunt is tantamount to goddess empowerment. As a practical matter, it is easier to encourage a fatter standard of normalcy than it is to do Pilates and lay off the cheese cake bites even when cycling. No, not that kind of cycling. The praise for Miss Indiana is refreshing in a day and age where the average American weighs 674.3 pounds and requires motorized wheels to purchase bulk boxes of Frosted Mini Wheats at the store:

I trained very hard for the body I have, but I didn’t go to extremes, and I’m proud of that. — Miss Indiana, that fetching minx

I want you to be proud of your body as well, Miss Indiana. I want to hold your hand when you lose those difficult last few pounds. I want to hug you when you fit into that summer dress you bought one size down knowing you’d get there by the 4th. I want to plug you rotten so I can see the thrust of my Excalibur jiggle the place where you still have some work to do.  I praise you as well Miss Indiana. Just like the women on Twitter, but while imagining you wearing only your brilliant sash.

Photo Credit: Getty Images 

(5) Comments

  1. avatar
    aandm12 06/11/2014 10:44

    To WWTDD mgt….going forward…please ignore those mailers about hiring the handicapped…or at least give Matt something else to do…

  2. avatar
    PingaTip 06/11/2014 10:47

    As if the douchebag who wrote this post has every been anywhere near a woman as beautiful as Miss Indiana. Your Excaliber? Not likely. Maybe a pocket knife.

  3. avatar
    miche the killer 06/11/2014 14:14

    If the kvetching women of America think they can relate their bodies to the “normal-sized” Ms Indiana, this country has got body dysmorphia on some epidemic scale. Go ahead & accept your potato shaped bodies, I won’t have to work so hard to look better than you.

  4. avatar
    BiebersStrapon 06/11/2014 14:16

    I’ll give Matt a thumbs-up for his music references, anyway.

  5. avatar
    Beylerbey 06/11/2014 17:05

    Too swarthy. Next.

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