Miss Pennsylvania Got Screwed

By Lex June 10, 2014 @ 12:12 PM


Valerie Gatto waited nineteen years to tell the world she was conceived as the product of her mom being raped in Pittsburgh. Her interview segment during the Miss USA pageant seemed like just the right moment to share her horrific origin story. She was Miss Pennsylvania after all, proudly representing both rapists and non-rapists alike in the Keystone State. Sexual assault is a hot button issue in the news and was sure to be big at the Miss USA pageant as Donald Trump continues to pretend his little pageant isn’t just about seeing how chicks in bikinis. Miss Nevada nailed it when asked by Judge Rumer Willis who knows beauty about all the rapes being reported on college campuses. It wasn’t a question so much as a statement handed to the chiseled jaw celebrity offspring to read aloud. But it was the perfect segue for Miss Nevada to drop the factoid that she’s a fourth degree black belt in taekwondo so fuck you would be assailants. She took the crown. The chick from North Dakota noted that she escaped attack in high school by playing ice hockey. Score for the Upper Midwest. She took the runner up spot. And poor Miss Pennsylvania who exposed her rape shame secret to the entire world? She didn’t even make the finals. Even rape culture devotees are still a little uncomfortable with that story.

Photo Credit: Getty

(5) Comments

  1. avatar
    Al (Ted) Bundy 06/10/2014 12:22

    Yeah Miss PA blew it. She should have gone all in and claimed the rapist was her grandpa, then she would be wearing that crown.

  2. avatar
    BiebersStrapon 06/10/2014 12:51

    Yes, it’s always been about the “how chicks” in bikinis.

    Good job once again with the shįtty writing and shįttier punctuation, Lex.

  3. avatar
    MacDaddy 06/10/2014 13:24

    hmmm, she’s 19 you say? (checks my travel log from 20 years ago!)

  4. avatar
    Maybe_Observer 06/10/2014 15:21

    Rape is really “in” this season….

  5. avatar
    Mud Nugget 06/10/2014 17:41

    She doesn’t teach young boys, does she?

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