Morrissey Get Sick Pretty Easy

By Matt June 20, 2014 @ 10:47 AM

Morrissey Whining

Morrissey cancelled the remainder of his U.S. tour,  blaming his opening act for getting him sick:

“Difficulties had arisen on May 31st following Kristeen Young’s opening set at the Miami Knight Concert Hall, after which Kristeen confessed to ‘a horrendous cold’, the symptoms of which were passed on to Morrissey resulting in the cancellation of the next show in Atlanta.”

Like many vegetarians, Morrissey is a farmers market shopping tool prone to bouts of childhood like illness. I don’t mean like the whooping cough and tuberculosis that Jenny McCarthy and hordes of undocumented immigrants have helped bring back to the U.S., I mean like runny noses and tummy aches.

Kristeen Young claims that in addition to Morrissey being a whining Nancy emo twat, he’s also a liar:

“Ok. Regarding the recent True-to-you statement from Morrissey: I did not ‘confess to a horrendous cold’. On Monday, June 2nd, I had an allergy attack that was over within 16 hours.”

It could take years and several more depressing Morrissey albums to get to the bottom of this bitchy battle. The most important thing is that the Morrissey get back to making music because people who hate their suburban parents need a soundtrack to their lives. As for Kristeen, if you spelled your name any other way, I might take your side.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

(5) Comments

  1. avatar
    billymays 06/20/2014 13:14

    “Easily.” The word you meant to use is “easily”.

    Perhaps tomorrow you and Lex can work on how pronouns are properly used.


  2. avatar
    BillyMitchellisaGoldenGod 06/20/2014 15:28

    Keep up the great articles matt and Ignore the post from the nancy emo twat above me.

  3. avatar
    rdd 06/20/2014 16:06

    The more I hear about this pussy, Morrissey, the more I hate him. What kind of wuss blames someone for him getting sick. He should just stay in England and keep his mouth shut.

  4. avatar
    billymays 06/20/2014 16:09

    “Great articles.”

    Tee hee.

  5. avatar
    Al Bundy 06/21/2014 03:05

    Aaaawwww….Matt’s boyfriend/fellow employee got mad.

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