Rachel Stevens Is the Hottest Woman Ever

By Lex June 04, 2014 @ 9:01 AM

FHM decided to underwhelm Maxim’s hottest woman in the world unspectacular with their very own hottest woman ever in the history of mankind list. People just love lists, at least when they have their mobile phone with them on the shitter. FHM chose Rachel Stevens, a former British pop singer who looks a lot like Jewel and used to lip-synch crappy songs with horrific dance moves. She’s not bad looking and she spends her free time bringing clean water to North African children who otherwise have to drink slightly moistened sand. How could you not love her? FHM brought in a group of top British scientists to regression analysis their hottest woman votes of the past 20 years. Rachel Stevens name came out on top. I believe these are the same British scientists who concluded that fluoride is a pointless mineral and that Harry is somehow biologically Charles’ son. FHM’s once mighty British print magazine is circling the toilet right behind Maxim, with circulation down 85% since their heyday last decade. I’m not good with math, but I think once you’re down 100%, they come and take the furniture and change the locks. That will be a sad day, or what they call in Britain, Wednesday next.

Photo Credit: FHM

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    Maybe_Observer 06/04/2014 09:35

    Did we stop doing First/Fist back in 2009?

    …because FIRST….or was it FIST?

  2. avatar
    BiebersStrapon 06/04/2014 10:53

    Ha ha ha, Lex is making fun of other countries again.

    Take another look at your own bankrupt nìgger-filled shìthole wherein your government spies on you 24-7, then get back to the rest of the world on who’s got the freedom and who should be laughing at who.

  3. avatar
    Beylerbey 06/04/2014 17:48

    Yeah, America sucks.

    A shame foreigners won’t stop coming here.

  4. avatar
    jackvill 06/05/2014 05:12

    London is the most visited city on Earth… I’d much rather live there than in any American city.

  5. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 06/05/2014 09:32

    London is the cultural toilet of the world. Like any toilet, it’s gonna get visited a lot. Besides, isn’t it under Sharia law now?

  6. Chris Wojcik 06/05/2014 16:36

    You mean this Rachel Stevens? I like this version. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylB0F_nQtR4

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