The Situation Alienates Customers

Last week, employees were calling the cops  because The Situation’s tanning salon wasn’t paying their employees. Now a customer allegedly had to call 911 because Mike and his brother Even Bigger Loser were beating the shit out of each other in the salon. That can’t be good for business. It is already hard to feel baby safe wedged into a herpes ridden second hand Kal-El space capsule, but the thought of two short Italian-Americans beating the crap out of each other around your exposed casing has to be downright unnerving. It’s unclear what the brothers came to blows over, only that unlike my prayer to Jesus they didn’t simultaneously land one perfect punch that knocked both into a decade long coma. I’d bet all my worldly possessions it’s something really fucking stupid.

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