Jessica Alba Seems Orgasmic

By Lex July 03, 2014 @ 7:01 PM

Jessica Alba In The August 2014 Issue Of GQ
I guess Jessica Alba really likes surfboards. GQ painted out her nipples and added Lolo Jones bicep tendons so I can’t speak as precisely to her state of arousal. Jessica shared her deep thoughts on her own favorite body part  with the magazine. Everybody hoped she would talk about her boobs, but she didn’t.

“I have to enhance what I like about my body and my stomach is good. My legs I’m not as excited about all the time, but I wouldn’t cover up my stomach. That’s what women do. Enhance what we’ve got.”

That’s another one big step for feminism kind. Your brain, dummy! You’re supposed to say, my brain is my best body part! After her interview, Jessica fashioned a baby crib mobile out of carbon neutral parts, gave it a desperately cute name, and sold one million units on She really is pretty fucking smart.

Photo Credit: GQ UK

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    thatguy4 07/04/2014 12:27

    This new layout blows. Bring back the old. I enjoyed having the blog readily readable. Now this looks like every other shitty ad site.

  2. avatar
    bikko 07/05/2014 16:16

    This site used to be funny as hell. Now it sucks donkey balls. the pop up ads run the site. And it barely functions on tablets.

  3. avatar
    Mud Nugget 07/06/2014 19:14

    Zero sex appeal.

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