I fell asleep during the ESPYs. I'm either getting old or the ESPYs are sucking worse than before or probably both. Maybe I just miss sports on ESPN. Like when MTV stopped running music videos in favor of reality shows featuring the garbage pail of human existence. The music videos were truly fucking horrible, but at least it made sense. I don't care if a stripper can do amazing cards tricks, when I pay my twenty bucks, I want her on my lap calling me handsome in a rich Slovakian accent.
Maria Sharapova won the award for best women's tennis player of the past year even though she wasn't. Jimmy from DeGrassi mocked tennis as a sport because apparently that's one of his bits and in no way related to the way the rest of the world not young girls mock him for claiming to be a rapper. It all made much more sense when half-asleep. When does football season start again?
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI