Selena Gomez’s New Boobs Are Bittersweet

By Lex July 10, 2014 @ 11:43 AM

Selena Gomez Goes Braless In New York
I can’t tell if she had implants or the elasticity of her top is making her commando boobs look bigger than before, but it seems pretty fucking haute couture to me. For those who don’t speak the romance languages, Haute couture is French for I show my tits off at parties you’re not invited to.

Selena had a broken-hearted girl collapse on social media this week apparently related to seeing her mini-Svengali spanking skanks on his Fourth of July booze cruise. She started posting sad videos of herself playing piano and posting photos of desolate landscapes with hopelessly emo captions:

Always said I was going to end up there, but I guess that’s where it was meant to end.

Holy Hello Kitty diary nonsense. I wish I spoke wallowing girl so I could translate that. The lesson here is even seemingly successful women make bad choices in men and it ruins them forever. That’s the lesson I’m taking away at least, you’re welcome to find your own. I bet mine goes over better at the angry women’s annual luncheon.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

wwtdd

(7) Comments

  1. avatar
    658811 07/10/2014 11:52

    It was good while it lasted.

  2. avatar
    BiebersStrapon 07/10/2014 12:16

    If Lex thinks her posts are bad he should try reading his own before submitting them.

  3. avatar
    entropissed 07/10/2014 12:58

    I dig the bellybutton and titty sweat

  4. avatar
    Beylerbey 07/11/2014 10:15

    Just wait until she’s an old mamacita with a pile of kids.

  5. avatar
    DonkeyDick 07/11/2014 17:20

    If she just got them done, which it sounds like would be the case, she’d still be bandaged up.

  6. avatar
    Art Vandelay 07/18/2014 07:55

    Let’s play double doorbell

  7. avatar
    McDuck 09/16/2014 01:42

    As women age their tits droop; their orbs resemble deflated inner tubes.
    So too will go Senorita Gomezs’ boobs.

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