Dustin Johnson Is The Coolest Golfer

By Matt August 05, 2014 @ 6:43 AM


Its hard to be a rebel while wearing slacks and a visor, but Dustin Johnson has been blowing lines and fucked more than one PGA player’s wife. One wife notch could be written off as a coke fueled mistake, but two means you’re just an asshole. Johnson is engaged to Paulina Gretzky, who is super hot and given her lineage, has the IQ of a limestone quarry. But her tits are stupendous and you get to occasionally hang out with Wayne Gretzky who will tell you really cool hockey stories in his man cave.

Johnson may be acting out to convince himself he’s not a dork playing a game favored by retirees and Asian lesbians. Tiger Woods proved that once the world knows you’re a filthy narcissistic pervert your golf game goes straight to shit. Johnson will probably be out of the game entirely within a year before moving in with Wayne and his daughter and banging Janet Jones entire Pilates class. At least that’s a real sport.

Photo Credit: Twitter 

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    Jkook 08/05/2014 09:17

    I have agreed with all your posts up to this point but you are sooooo wrong about this guy. He is a scum bag. A 100% scum bag, bad human. He bought bullets for a person to kill someone. Is that someone you look up to? Do you look up to murderers? The guy is a sociopath scumbag and I hope he gets heckled off tour. Plus he slept around with married women more than once. What a huge waste of talent !!!

  2. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 08/05/2014 10:19

    Paulina Gretzky doesn’t look like she’s going to age well. Might help if she got off the Lindsay Lohan diet.

  3. avatar
    pk20152 08/07/2014 03:52

    Paulina meet brick wall, brick wall meet Paulina. skank

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