Jasmine Tridevil Has Three Tits

Jasmine Tridevil, I’m going to assume that isn’t her real given name, decided that the best way to get herself an MTV reality show was to implant a third crappy breast in between her other two. She thinks MTV loves a cheap freak show with tits for its reality lineup. She’s right. Jasmine’s biggest issue was finding a plastic surgeon willing to deform her just for the tridevil of it. Get it? Fuck you, I’m still getting over Hope Solo’s Beefaroni.

Jasmine says the first fifty plastic surgeons she approached turned her down. Which in Floriday means you have to go an additional block to find the titty doctor who will take your cash. Jasmine’s family has entirely disowned her since the procedure. They were fine with her as a 20-year old two-titted out-call masseuse, that’s a Tampa high achiever, but three tits, don’t you come knocking on the trailer door where you grow’d up. Life has always been punitive to the bold. Those daring innovators willing to put their own well-being at risk to push the envelope of human endeavor. That is, until the four titted chick comes along and Jasmine becomes the horse and buggy in the age of the automobile. I’d call MTV and  try to move things along.

Photo Credit: Twitter