Doctors Need More Borders

Those Doctors Without Borders people always seem so much better than you. Here they are sacrificing a promising medical career to travel the globe and come into direct contact with those less fortunate than us, often in countries so poor they can’t even afford latex gloves. Dr. Craig Spencer has proven this to be a sham. Upon realizing he had contracted Ebola during his volunteer time in West Africa, Spencer told authorities he quarantined himself inside his vintage record laden Harlem apartment. He was lying. In reality went to a meatball shop and did some bowling and generally presented a health hazard to millions of people because he’s an infallible doctor. He most likely didn’t fuck his fiancee because she’s in the clear. What kind of a dude returns home from a month in Guinea and chooses a sub and bowling over banging? A typical hipster who got pressured into med school but in reality longs to smoke weed on the couch all day watching The Big Lebowski. Hence the trips to Guinea and the bowling. If Ebola took out Williamsburg I’d be fine but there are still parts of Harlem unassimilated.

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