Who’s the Luckiest Bastard in the Whole World?

Nope, not me. Not you. We’re only lucky in sense that there are people in India eating starving people from Myanmar kind of way. This kid in Louisiana is the luckiest fuck in the world. He doesn’t even have his name in the papers, unlike the two reasonably hot high school teachers who were sharing him as their teen sex toy, individually and combined. The teen couldn’t keep is amazing fortune to himself and started bragging to his buddies. That’s always the beginning and the end of great illicit sex, but something you can’t possibly contain at sixteen when you’ve got your English teacher on your cock making out with your young Math teacher who’s grinding her trigonometry into your face. Naturally, parents of students who will now be beaten up at school were working through some complex emotions:

Unfortunately as a parent of a son that attends Destrehan High School, it’s a little overwhelming at times, and my son is taking it difficult as well, but I think the whole school is taking it difficultly,When anything happens here at Destrehan, all of Destrehan suffers. — Antonio Morales, father of student at the school

Which part is your son taking rough? The part where sworn educators violated the sacred trust between teacher and student or the part where somebody not you is plowing the two hottest teachers in school? Shut the fuck up and go suffer with your entire town because some lucky bastard just hit the lottery and you’re just jealous.