Barbie’s Competition Sorely Lacking

Some preachy artist named Nickolay Lamm who is not trying to be funny made a Barbie type doll based on the body dimensions of the average nineteen year old girl, which is still pretty good in many parts of the country. He calculated the dimensions based on two standard deviations of the full bodied girls he imagines when wanking. The doll’s name is Lammily for reason’s unknown but I bet its not clever. It comes with unflattering stickers you can attach to the doll like acne, cellulite, stretch marks, scars, and receipts for this product. The website proclaims “Average is Beautiful” which we are all almost entirely certain isn’t true.  In the promos you see a bunch of kids playing with the average girl dolls and saying things like ‘she reminds me of my sister’ though they cut it off before she amends ‘…the one who stays at home and cries a lot on Saturday nights.’

Whether this is some ill conceived prank or not, 19,000 of them have been pre ordered by moms who just called their daughters ugly. I’m sure Barbie sets unrealistic standards of beauty for young girls, but at least its something to aspire to beyond being dumpy and pimply. The doll retails for $25 dollars, which is cheaper than getting a gym membership or eating salads instead of Arby’s while you tell yourself whatever you want to hear.

Photo Credit: Lammily.com