Jennifer Lawrence Nipples Make Us All Sex Offenders

I was with Jennifer Lawrence when she labeled everybody sex criminals for whacking to her hacked photos. It seemed harsh, but backing her felt like I was finally striking a blow for sexism. Also, my best chance to get laid. Peeking into her dress top to stare at her tits is probably at least a Grade-B misdemeanor. Could be a Grade-A if she did some more chest exercises. Just saying, if you’re going to keep flashing them, put a little time on the pectoral Nautilus at the Bally’s.

Jennifer Lawrence lies somewhere on that Uptonian spectrum of ladies who want to bank serious cash off their looks, but call you names when you do look. Pack on thirty pounds and quit the picture business and you’ll notice the peeping tom count drops siginificantly. The horny geezer at Walmart will still crank his neck when you reach for items on the lower shelf, just enough to make you wish you hadn’t thrown out the baby with the bathwater.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI