Derek Jeter Killing It

Derek Jeter rented out a warehouse in the meatpacking district to watch the Seahawks game with some buddies and thirty whores. At least an anonymous source who has the cultural literacy of a forty year old Ukrainian mail order bride told this to Page Six:

“Derek had a really great time partying with his guests and watching the game. He was relaxed, happy and in a great mood. He mingled with the girls and was on the dance floor. He didn’t seem to be with one particular girl, he was definitely having fun.”

Thanks Borat, or the guy who did the voices I was supposed to translate for my audio test in Spanish 1o2. Odds are low this person exists. Still, I’m happy for Derek Jeter. He’s forty and still doing this. In ten years he’ll be fifty. Twenty years from then he’ll be seventy. Then in another ten he’ll be eighty. Then it will start to get weird. We’ll still hold him in reverence even though his cock is carrying a strain of something which will infect half the Northern Hemesphere and more of Hollywood two generations after he’s dead. In the meantime keep acting like a Champion. And a warrior. Trojan. Follow me?

Photo Credit: Getty Images