Harvard Professors Are Often Dicks

Benjamin Edelman is a professor at the Harvard Business School. He specializes in the field of online fraud, preventing it I believe rather than perpetrating. Benjamin Edelman is also a dick. He recently ordered Chinese food from the local Sichuan Garden restaurant and was appalled to see he was overcharged by $4 dollars. The restaurant explained the website was out of date and prices had been raised by a dollar per entree. At this point Edelman flipped out, and demanded a $12 dollar refund, claiming he was eligible for triple damages under the state’s consumer protection statute. Then he called the police who said, fuck off, Jewboy, because this is Boston after all. After immediately being offered a hefty discount by the restaurant owners he continued to fly off the handle in his quest for take-out justice:

“It strikes me that merely providing a refund to a single customer would be an exceptionally light sanction for the violation that occurred. You don’t seem to recognize that this is a legal matter and calls for a more thoughtful and far-reaching resolution.”

Edelman continued this tirade, drowning the poor Chinese guy in legal speak. Then he sort of bragged about it and a bunch of people called him an elitist asshole so he issued an apology:

“I was very much out of line. I aspire to act with great respect and humility in dealing with others, no matter what the situation. Clearly I failed to do so.”

Eat your dan dan noodles and shut the fuck up, Edelman. This is the real world. People have real problems. They get paid three bucks and hour to fry egg rolls not argue horse shit with you and your towel snapping buddies on the squash courts. Retreat into your lair with your big ass elbow pads and find those fucking Russians who keep phishing me with fake Paypal account closure notices. Leave us out of it.

Photo Credit: Harard.edu