Kylie Jenner Pregnant Again

According to sources about as credible as the Kardashians themselves, Kylie Jenner is pregnant by her statutory raping rapper boyfriend. This is the third time reports have come out of the underaged daughter being knocked up. It’s not a horrible assumption given her family tree feeds almost entirely on hip hop jism. She’s seventeen, a high school dropout, and her parents are absentee slash changing genders and sacrificing local woodland mammals on a Satanic altar in exchange for cursed gold. It’s all there. But if Lifetime movies and reading the entries of morose teen girls on How I Lost My Virginity blogs has taught us anything, don’t be so quick to judge the neighborhood slut. She might just be the victim of a bad reputation. Remember when Michael Brown turned out to be a sweet kid who just wanted to study found object art in college? Let’s wait until this manufactured whorelet pushes out her first bastard baby before we start the name calling, you know, officially.

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