If anybody can save the children in the third world, it’s going to be Italian jeweler and chic fragrance maker, Bulgari. They’re on top of this shit. Who do you think cured Ebola and rescued the kids from Oprah’s torture schools? That’s right, Bulgari. Every time an Asian tourist buys a Bulgari watch at the Caesar’s Forum shops in Vegas, the designer brand sends an autographed picture of Celine Dion to the millions of tent kids in the Southern Sudan. It’s like UNICEF, but instead of most of the money going toward lunches in Zurich, only most of the money does. If I were a street urchin in Sri Lanka licking the rust off unexploded ordinance just to stay alive, I’d tell Bulgari to keep my four cents and send the Carl’s Jr. chick to flash her titties in my face just once before my pancreas dissolves.
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