ADVERTISEMENT

Go Big On The Oscars Next Year

February 24, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston | 0 Comments

The Oscars are an obnoxious self congratulatory circle jerk you’re occasionally forced to sit through with your girlfriend while she cries and you consider breaking up with her. She would totally blow Cumberbatch. Not even hypothetically. Just right now, on this couch. Your best bet is to turn this into an under the radar Super Bowl. Bet half your mortgage on a few gut instincts. Vegas odds on Birdman winning Best Picture were 18 to 1. The key here is not to tell your chick what you have invested. She’ll think you suddenly give a shit about evening gowns and are finally making an effort. Throw a safety bottle of Jack in the bathroom cabinet and make frequent pit stops. It goes well with the bottle of cab on the table. You’ll be feeling pretty good once this shit show nears its finale. Just like that you made eighteen thousand dollars and you’re in a crying embrace. I think she’s onto me. Let’s double up on the Papa Johns and fire up the industrial lighting. We’re shooting a fuck tape for the ages. Call into work tomorrow. We need some more cab. It’s so magical!

Photo Credit: Oscars.go.com 

Tags: birdman the oscars




Disclaimer: All rights reserved for writing and editorial content. No rights or credit claimed for any images featured on wwtdd.com unless stated. If you own rights to any of the images because YOU ARE THE PHOTOGRAPHER and do not wish them to appear here, please contact us info(@)egotastic.com and they will be promptly removed. If you are a representative of the photographer, provide signed documentation in your query that you are acting on that individual's legal copyright holder status.

Advertisement


Advertisement


Related Post

Advertisement


Advertisement


Advertisement