Vince McMahon Swollen With Pride

Vince McMahon is 69 years old an on the cover of the new Muscle and Fitness magazine. Allegations of photoshopping promptly surfaced but the sad truth is it’s good lighting and enough synthetic hormones to power a NASCAR. I’ve heard my whole life how steroids are bad for you. If McMahon reaches 75 all bets are off. I’ll take five less years stewing in my own drool to be bench pressing twice my body weight and cruising speed boats in Miami with coked up strippers. In fact I might take half as many roids, be half as ripped and spend half the time in the weight room. Maybe even none, I’m too old for this shit. It’s just McMahon looks weird and I plan on telling chicks I play baseball. I don’t really care if my balls shrink because I don’t care about balls and chicks don’t either. I’ve never had one compliment. If it’s purely an aesthetic thing I don’t care if they disappear all together and I’m just rocking a track baton. If my dick is going to suffer get back to me because I plan on getting head in my pilot car well into WWIII. I hope they deliver.

Photo Credit: Twitter