Alessandra Ambrosio Too Skinny To Model

American politicians are weak-kneed knob gobblers. But they still lick the French. Those fuckers wake up every day and ask themselves how can we be more like our hero, the prison bitch. Legislators in France are pushing a law that will compel the French fashion industry to only employ models with a minimum body mass index of 18. 18 is considered bottom of the viably healthy range by the World Health Organization. 16’s and 17’s are more common among your starving types in the Sudan and cotton ball eaters getting paid six-figures to hit the catwalk during Fashion Week. Alessandra Ambrosio would be fucked. She’s a 16.8, which approximates the girth of a cancer patient just before the priest arrives for last rites. And so what? There’s no company that doesn’t want Alessandra modeling their clothes. There’s no man that doesn’t want to bang her skeletal frame while her judgement wanes from low blood sugar.

She seems happy. Who the fuck are the French to tell her she’s a danger to herself and a poor role model for girls. She’s the perfect role model for girls who want to be rich and famous fashion models. If that’s your thing, say goodbye to food. You want to be a sumo wrestler, you’ll eat ten times a day. Pick your job according to your love of Wendy’s and if you want a 2 or a 4 in front of your jean’s waist size. If France really cared about girls, they’d make it illegal for chain smoking men in scarves to enlist middle schools girls into their photo modeling studios. Forcing a girl to watch a gloomy man pleasure himself to a Johnny Hallyday rock anthem is far worse than convincing her not to eat on days that end in a ‘y’.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet