James Franco wrote an open letter to the Washington Post discussing his joyful time spent as a broke young actor in L.A. working the fry station at McDonald’s. It’s unclear why he wrote the letter, but weed and the potential for free McNuggets for the remainder of his life seems like a viable answer. In the last millennium, fast food restaurants were heavily staffed by teenagers working part time to pay for condoms and maybe some gas or beer money. Everybody was happy, including Franco who recalls the fast food joint as a great place to work while perfecting his obnoxious mugging gay baiting acting craft. I too remember working those joints. The ‘old guy dick manager’ was nineteen, maybe twenty if his prospects were lean. If somebody had a kid on the way, they stole six cartons of napkins and left to get a real job. Which sort of makes you wonder when Mickey D’s became such a den of labor injustice and impoverished career workers feeding used wrappers to their seven children to make ends meet. Probably about the same time somebody stood up and pretended they’d just discovered fast food was wildly unhealthy. The truth throws off so many otherwise righteous arguments that it’s much easier just to ignore it.
One of the options on the McDonald’s job applications is actually to not work for McDonald’s. I’d suggest checking that box if you think it’s the Great Satan. Test your children to find the strongest and feed the remaining six children to the winner. It’s crass, but at least your remaining offspring won’t be working the shake station at forty bitching about CEO pay.
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