Romney and Holyfield Fake Box to Cure Blindness (VIDEO)

For reasons which will never be fully explained, Mitt Romney and Evander Holyfield participated in an exhibition boxing match to cure blindness. Once in a generation something happens that’s so weird you have to either ignore it or go on medication. Somewhere out there a dude is losing friends because he can’t stop talking about this. I know high risk behavior can lead to HIV infection. No I didn’t use a condom. Her name was Jade and she works Sunday-Thursday. Please shut the fuck up now.

During the fight, Romney knocked down Holyfield who then charged at him and someone threw in the towel because those people can be unpredictable. If you find surrendering during a pretend boxing match to be exceptionally lame you clearly don’t closely follow the life of Mitt Romney. Romney looks really fucking good for being 68 years of age. Holyfield looks good for a man who’s quite impossibly had eleven kids by thirteen different women. Both better than my buddy Greg who’s in his mid thirties although he drinks a shit load of Walker Black and doesn’t wear magic underwear. Maybe the Mormons are onto something. Should you attend Holyfield’s funeral don’t mention this. It will show up on his scan.