Olivia Jordan Is Your Khaleesi

There’s no particular reason for beauty pageants past the age when the pedophiles purchase excessive concessions and try to blend in. Twenty-six seems really old to be playing Barbie without a Saudi prince behind a curtain tipping six figures to your Paypal. It was cool back in the day to see college aged girls strutting around in swimsuits and heels. Now you can punch up a thousand websites for just that. Two-hundred if they have to be of Hmong descent with one heel broken and a lazy right eye.

The Miss USA pageant was supposed to air on NBC and Univision but both networks pulled out once they suddenly remembered that show owner Donald Trump hated Mexicans and that their ad departments were having trouble selling spots. The show ultimately aired on a terrestrial station out of Yuma where ironically only illegals with rabbit ears could watch. Trump himself did not attend, preferring to wait in his hotel room for the newly crowned Miss USA to rub her vagina on his hairpiece. It’s a painful reminder that even the Queen has to answer to somebody. We should strive to do better than this. Nudity as an example would be better.

Photo Credit: Getty