Your Annual Costume Protest

Every Halloween season a couple or three kids costumes get protested by somebody either placed on this earth to be annoying or somebody with a hidden agenda. Often both. The current protest centers around an Israeli Defense Forces soldier costume being sold at Walmart. It’s not really a protest so much as the New York Daily News finding one woman on Twitter who demanded a boycott of Walmart for selling the costume. And that woman happens to be a pro-Palestinian activisit from London who has committed her life to the downfall of Zionism. Maybe the Daily News blocks their reporters from Googling.

Ashley Benson had to backtrack on her Cecil the Lion costume last week and explain how she loves cats, donates to the SPCA, and would let a lion fuck her because they’re beautiful creatures who shouldn’t be fenced in. The Obama mask is racist. You know the genie costume promotes sexist Islamophobic stereotypes. You want to go as a football player, wonderful, wife beater. Hobos mock the homeless. Cowboys slaughtered the native Americans who all have alcoholism which is a disease. Halloween was easier when you could dress up any way you wanted and bleed out on a razor blade in your candy bar for your sins. Walmart protests are inherently tiresome. It’s like complaining about your in-laws. A kid in an IDF costume would know exactly what to do to this chick.