Halloween is supposed to be the happiest drunkest place on earth. But sometimes being young and beautiful and affording the expensive tampons just isn’t enough. Aw, Petunia, you’ve got yourself a case of the miserables. It was hard not to notice how many chicks looked absolutely miserable at the Casamigos Tequila Halloween Party. Jessica Alba, buck the fuck up, you’re a diaper billionaire with perfect tits. Suki Waterhouse, who the fuck sunk your battleship? You need to self-deport. The rest of you, the kitty cat, the fat one, I don’t know who you all are, but keep the battered wife faces at home. This is Halloween. Normal people are trying to get loaded and cop some cheap feels. Quit ruining everything.
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