Coldplay Nabs Super Bowl Halftime

December 7, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Gay Beethoven and the couple or three other guys he pretends are part of Coldplay will be headlining the Super Bowl halftime show in February 2016. While football demo skews heavily male, the halftime show reaches fifty million women cleaning up nacho crumbs while their knights in shining armor take monster shits in the back bathroom. The music industry pushes Katy Perry, Janet Jackson, Madonna, Bruno Mars and Coldplay for free Super Bowl halftime shows in exchange for promotional value. Sepp Blatter might wet his beak. That’s one massive audience of disenchanted females who wish their guys were more romantic like a Coldplay song. What do you mean your songs all about seeing other boy’s penis in the locker room in middle school? Even the uptempo stuff? I miss jetpack guy. Are we beating ISIS yet?

Photo credit: Getty Images

Tags: chris martin coldplay super bowl

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