Ryan Reynolds Not Gay Enough

Movie critics who measure the quality of film solely based on its LGBT quotient are flummoxed by Dead Pool which features Ryan Reynolds being super hipster sexually playful but never directly engaging in the forbidden love of another man’s company.

“Reynolds has never been better as Wade Wilson/Deadpool, a murderous mutant who favors ‘Rent’ and ‘Golden Girls’-themed attire, talks about masturbating to gay icon Bernadette Peters, lets his girlfriend make love to him with a strap-on, refers to his prostate as his ‘on switch,’ and cheerfully describes the sexual favors he did for Wolverine to get this movie made.”

Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman in the same sentence is the very height of gay baiting. We never see man love in Dead Pool because even towel snapping frat boys have their jousting limits. So do the teen boys who ensure box office gold.

“Nevertheless, there are zero scenes in this movie that actually depict him having an interest in men…Deadpool is, when you get down to it, just as hetero as the next male superhero.”

Is this a movie review or your gender studies thesis at Holyoke? Casting Ryan Reynolds isn’t done without some knowledge it introduces a boys weekend at the cabin kind of vibe. The point of Dead Pool was to be the anti-Marvel hero, including anti-macho. Hulk smash. Dead Pool gets pegged. If Ryan Reynolds taking it up the ass isn’t gay enough for you, you’re gay standards are way too high. Thanks for ruining Dead Pool.

Photo credit: @vancityreynolds / Instagram