Josh Brown NFL’s New Problem Child

The Giants Josh Brown just singlehandedly threw a bunch of kicker stereotypes out the window. Turns out they do still pee sitting down but apparently are not as docile as previously thought and beat their wives. Brown had been suspended one game by the league for a previous incident in which his wife accused him of domestic violence but Roger Goodell decides suspensions via a Magic the Gathering die he keeps on his desk. It’s usually way over or under but never correct.

The Giants and the NFL just discovered some journals that Brown wrote. Another word for that is diaries. The diaries were being held as evidence by the police but were just released. They paint a picture of a serial abuser, and that’s not just the watercolors Brown did. In the documents Brown’s wife calls him a serial abuser and he makes some startling and hugely uncomfortable confessions such as that he’s been abusive to women since the age of seven because he was molested as a child and also that he uses those kicking tees as a sex toy: 

“I have abused my wife… [I have been] physically, mentally, emotionally and verbally been a repulsive man.” 

At some point Brown, his wife, and their counselor signed a Contract for Change in which he agreed to stop abusing her if he was able to still have his K-Pop time in the evenings. This predictably failed and their counselor should probably be put on blast on Yelp. In light of recent events Brown will not be traveling with the Giants to London and will most likely face further suspension. There are a few morals here: Don’t beat your wife. If your husband is beating you, leave. Also don’t marry Ray Finkle and Roger Goodell is a dickless shit for brains muppet. You’re in Europe, pull a guy out of the stands and slap a jersey on him. 

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