Miranda Kerr’s Violent Stalker A Hunk

The guy who jumped Miranda Kerr’s fence holding a love letter and then stabbed her security guard in the eye is apparently a real casanova. Who knows, she might still fall in love with him. Just read the letter and follow your heart. His bail is set at a million, just in case you’re in the neighborhood. His name is Sean Haywood and he’s a spiritual guru who went by the name Eros Ra Sunandra. His schtick obviously worked on a lot of dumb chicks. It doesn’t hurt that he worked as a personal trainer, is really good at yoga, can do a handstand, and is clearly on steroids. You’d definitely make fun of the guy if you saw him a bar, but be careful. You never know who is capable of stabbing a guy in the eye or biting someone’s face off. Typically the guy not drinking. 

This dude carved out a pretty decent life for himself before he went and fucked it up. It’s unclear why he was obsessed with Miranda Kerr. He probably partied at her house once and figured he was on the verge of moving in before being promptly told to leave at 6 am. Chicks love dudes like this. Bad tattoos. Retarded spiritual platitudes. A slightly dangerous vibe underneath the manicured eyebrows. Shirtless Instagram pics. Yoga. Silver chain cross. Earrings. They say they don’t but they do. They’ve all fucked one of them. Jokes on them, sometimes that cool guy from the juice bar will stab you in the eye. There’s a lesson to be learned here. Avoid guys who look like Eros Ra Sunandra. You mess with the bull you get the horns. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}