MTV’s White Guy’s Video Will Be Missed

Everything is politics now. Media, social, entertainment. It’s all politics. It’s how scores of particularly younger people have chosen to identify themselves when religion or sports or Bud vs. Miller are no longer valid means to self-identify. MTV is incessantly seeking out ways to provide teenagers with precisely the message and visuals they are most ready to receive. It’s a strategy not unlike that employed by big tobacco since the dawn of time. Nice camel. Does that really come in mint? 

According to MTV research, young people really hate white men. While representing 31.2% of the American population, they manage to cause 100% of the problems in the lives of millennials. Like their dads telling them “working on an app” is not actually a real job. Nor is being gender expansive. White men and their normative rules. Fuck them.

To feed into the zeitgeist of seventeen year olds who lobe gauge in the stead of pick up basketball, MTV created a “New Years’ Resolutions for White Guys” video that they found hilarious internally. Imagine speaking truth to power with an amalgam of identity politics, white guilt, and one expressive black dude making fun of how white people dance. A true Gettysburg address for a generation on the rise, though not literally as they are on their couch. Though you’d still lean in to punch them all in their smug faces.

There was some negative reaction to the video in the general public as it turned out the video was neither funny, insightful, and also clearly extremely racist. While racism is acceptable in the context of bashing the loose cateogory of “white males”, you’re supposed to hide it from the big brand advertisers and their account reps at Viacom. The video was pulled, leaving white males to resolve once again in 2017 to hate on lesbian Latinas with learning disabilities and muffin tops and wonder why their son couldn’t be one of those cooler gay dudes who actually makes money and works out.

Randomly blaming demographic groups for your troubles used to be so much fun. MTV has no idea how to run a proper lynching.