Bella Hadid Lyft Prostitute

Bella Hadid has a new gig with Lyft, the fun alternative to Uber which is the fun alternative to begging your roommate to drive you somewhere. The on-again off-again Lyme disease sufferer is pimping out Lyft’s April Fool’s joke. It’s a gadget called Mono that you wear on your thumb to hail a Lyft. It’s not really available. April Fools. Got you again. That’s tens of thousands of dollars in marketing put to good use. 

In a post-Kardashian world, Bella Hadid made her first million by twenty. In a pre-Kardashian world she probably still makes bank, but has to use that Lyft thumb in a more obscene manner. Ever since Catherine Zeta-Jones whored out T-Mobile celebrities can make money off any consumer product. The Jenners wear girdles on Instagram. Jamie Lee Curtis shits her pants exclusively with Activa. Bella Hadid holds her thumb in the air wearing an electronic gadget for a service created so Eastern Europeans can molest female passengers.

Lyft loves a good April Fool’s joke. Last year they created a pranking app. This year it’s a useless device wearing a useless device on her right hand. Lyft is relatable and cool. Nothing says that like Bella Hadid. She had to grow up with a more attractive sibling. Now she’s training to be on Botched. Take me home for under ten bucks and leave out the convo about your sister in the hospital. A second DUI suddenly seems like the superior option.

_{Photo credit: Lyft}

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