Neverland Back On The Market

The Neverland Ranch is perhaps the greatest bachelor pad of all time, assuming the bachelor is a serial gay pedophile. The firm that bought it just slashed the price from 100 million to 67 million. If you have that kind of money why burden yourself with finding kiddy porn hidden behind the water heater. Indeed, the seller has changed its name to Sycamore Valley Ranch which is the name it had prior to Jackson using it to attract four year old street urchins and guys with skateboards for legs.

The insanely creepy amusement park has been removed, but there are still vestiges of pedophilia past, such as several “secret rooms” a stage featuring trap doors for “magic shows”, and of course, the infamous wine cellar. Try not to slip on the tiles. 

It’s still a pretty bad ass property. 2700 acres in Santa Barbara. It rains a lot in Santa Barbara. Lots of overgrowth. If you get hankering you can go dig for buried treasure or witness exhibits. It features an enormous main house, and 22 other smaller structures. What do you think is the vibe of this place at night? In California you need to disclose if someone died in your house within the last three years. How does one ninety year old passing away compare to a gaggle of kids getting drugged and diddled? 

This may be the one house in the Santa Barbara area priced over five million dollars that could be a detriment to you getting pussy. George Clooney could procure it and find himself jerking off alone at night in a party hat. It was bought for 27 million after Jackson’s death in 2009. That might have been a bad call. Try and trade it for a boat. If that doesn’t work, burn it and start fresh. 

_{Photo Credit: Joyce Rey}