Jaden Smith Launches Rock Band (VIDEO)

Jaden Smith announced the creation of a rock band with his sister and a girl he’s dating with whom he shares a walk-in closet. This comes on the heels of Smith’s soon to be released K-Pop single by way of social media and his monthly allowance spent on a public relations launch. Smith sampled some of his early rock band work on Instagram so his followers could fill his pentagram of faint praise.

Smith is the answer to the question, what happens if you indulge the ever living crap out of your son and he doesn’t like drugs or cars or fucking models? The practical examples are rare. Will Smith and Jada Pinkett point to the fact that their Wonka Factory children produce “art” to back into the conclusion that their permissive parenting style worked. Charles Manson’s mom likely delved into the same argument. If only he hadn’t murdered so many before his followup album.

This is the time to call your old man who shit on your dreams and insisted whatever it is you really wanted to do with your life wouldn’t pay the rent and say thank you. He wasn’t a good dad, but blindly negative asshole is a solid second best option. Scientology and unconditional support means you’re an eighteen year old dude in a skirt penning poems to the power of crystals. The lumberyard might damage your hands, but it won’t sodomize your soul.

Jaden Smith’s rock album will still be one of the ten best of the year. Rock is dead.