Montana Fishburne Blames Trump, Pees on Side of Road (VIDEO)

May 5, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments


Montana Fishburne may have peaked during her brief paid porn era. Right about the time Laurence Fishburne did a reverse paternity test and lowered his head into his hands. There’s no way to know if Laurence was a shitty father. There is a way to know how a dad feels when his daughter gets fucked on camera and subsequently arrested multiple times. Pissing on a dash cam is probably the new low. But if I’m a therapist, I’m probably suggesting dad brace for even worse.

Montana was pulled over for a DUI arrest on a Florida highway. It might be more time efficient for cops to pull over the few sober drivers and let the drunk ones keep slamming into each other on the way to Orlando, but this is their chosen method. Fishburne identifies the arresting officer as Hispanic, which she claims for herself, and insists the two of them must fight Trump together by maybe letting her off with a warning. It’s not a bad ploy. Maybe if not on video and audio feed, mutual Trump hysteria wins. 

Fishburne declares she has to pee, climbs a guard rail in handcuffs, wiggles down her panties somehow, and squats out a quart on the roadside. To her credit, you couldn’t do that while liquored to shit. It’s like watching Simon Biles with enormous fake tits and a wig pull off a perfect score on the floor exercise.

This video all but kills Fishburne’s chances of landing a job with a conservative bent. However, that has nothing to do with Florida. Expect the offers from fetish-leaning performance clubs to come flying in. Also, Jeb Bush is on line two. Did you say you were Hispanic? 

They say losing a child is the worst thing that can ever happen to a parent. Double check that with Laurence Fishburne.


Photo Credit: Splash News

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