Pedo Deep Planning

News outlets around the country have been horrified to report with huge headlines and paid social that 50-year old Tennessee teacher Tad Cummins had sex with his fifteen-year old teen runaway on a nightly basis while on the lam. It’s almost as if that why Cummins fled with Elizabeth Thomas in the first place. 

Since his arrest, Cummins has been repeatedly interviewed by the FBI about his Lolita inspired trek across America with his high school student. Cummins played unofficial mentor to troubled girls at the high school, convinced the teens he was formerly in the CIA and FBI, and targeted a chick from an abusive home. The pedos always fall for the broken girls. The unintended consequences of beating your kids. Seeing them on the news fucking an old gross dude. 

Cummins had purchased a $1500 two person kayak he planned to use to navigate his fifteen year old girlfriend down to Mexico. He quickly learned from a Google search the ocean passage from San Diego to Fuck Underaged Girls Land was too treacherous for kayaks. Also, he wasn’t such a good rower. He scrapped the border crossing plan in favor of fucking Thomas in a tent north of Yosemite until captured. At least your dry. Cummins is going to be charged with a whole series of state and federal crimes, despite the fact the girl very willingly accompanied him on his dirty sex journey.

The larger story contained within this classic Cumberland romance is the growing number of teachers having sex with underaged students. The female teacher offender number is fast rising though sex crimes do remain the fiefdom of middle aged men with bad mustaches. In 2016 there were zero innocent kids killed in school shootings in the U.S. You may have noticed the lack of cable news 24×7 coverage on that unending epidemic. By contrast, depending on which second rate source you search, there were 1,000 reports of K-12 teacher and student sex crimes across the country.

There are no first rate sources. The teacher sex crime stats are blocked officially by the teachers’ unions and unofficially by the media which refuses to cover them as more than a novelty. You could call this a conspiracy, since it is. Your kids are way more likely to be fucked at school by an adult than they are shot. Look into Tad Cummins’ mustache and take comfort.