DUI Weston Cage Granted Options To Avoid Cage

It’s hard not to have some sympathy for DUI cases. Yes, driving after a few brews falls under the list of terrible ideas, but getting towed on Saturday night and being forced to pay Sunday storage fees even though you can’t pick up your car that day is downright extortion. I plan on exposing this covert American mafia that is meter maids and tow truck companies working in conjunction to force DUIs on short on cash young people. They just want to have fun on the weekend like everyone else. Unfortunately Weston Cage chose to drive home drunk and park his Camaro into a tree. He recently pleaded no contest to his crimes which is why he’ll be able to pick his punishment in addition to fines. 

Here are Cage’s options:

– Door 1: 350 hours of community service
– Door 2: 30 days of community labor
– Door 3: 45 days in county jail

All of those options are pretty terrible. You would think if your dad is Nicolas Cage he would be able to pull a few strings. I’m not a big fan of serving soup to the same guys I never roll my window down to give change to at the stoplight. So if I had to chose, I’d sit this one out in county jail. A month and a half of being forced to interact with only men will keep me on the straight and narrow. Or force me to join a gang. That or find Christ just to survive a long 45 inside.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram / Getty}