Sam Smith Gender Reveal Party

Those annoying parties where parents-to-be reveal the gender of their baby become infinitely more irritating when 20-somethings declare their new gender on social media. Not the gender they were born with. Or the gender their DNA objectively suggests. Or the gender every single scientist on the planet would confirm as their biological origin. But the one they assembled in their heads, like a complicated Starbuck’s order.

In an article in the Sunday Times, British falsetto Sam Smith shared an origin story of his sexual identity. If you haven’t had your fill of gay coming out stories, this one-thousandth celebrity version of the tale ought to float your boat. As to gender, Smith chose swirl. A 50-50 twist. Alexis Arquette already took one day a man, one day a woman, depending on the mood. It’s important to stay fresh in made up gender identity:

“I don’t know what the title would be, but I feel just as much woman as I am man. There was one moment in my life where I didn’t own a piece of male clothing, really. I would wear full make-up every day in school, eyelashes, leggings with Dr. Martens and huge fur coats, for 2.5 years.”

There is little science behind “feeling” your gender. Sort of like feeling you’re six-two when you’re five-nine. It’s worth asking a licensed psychiatrist what they think. Or at least a fashion expert. Leggings with Doc Martens? How gauche.

Smith is currently dating the hunky actor from 13 Reasons Why, that show on Netflix that caused multiple depressed cheerleaders to off themselves. It was a big moment for Smith to shock the world by confirming everything the world assumed about him since he was four. The term “coming out” used to at least connote some element of surprise. Now it simply sounds like “term paper”.

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