Bette Midler Doesn’t Want Her Shit Touched

With the rate at which Hollywood studios are remaking and rebooting films still warm on the shelf, future contracts will need to contain clauses, “When asked by reporters how I feel about my role being redone by some younger bitch, I will only say fake nice things.” 

Bettle Midler is dissing the Disney remake of the 1993 film, Hocus Pocus. Apparently, the film’s on her list of precious career relics. Far less so on critics lists. It’s something of a cult classic among Bette Midler and Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy fans. So, people with the Liberace collection on vinyl. 

Disney’s remaking Hocus Pocus for Disney TV for next Halloween. Like an early gift for their first openly gay kids character on Andi Mack. They’ve not invited any of the original cast to return. Midler didn’t mention the snub, but it’s clearly behind her pissy attitude. Even Akroyd got a shitty bit in Ghostbuster Girls. Ramis had the decency to die before faced with the decision.

“I know it’s cheap. It’s going to be cheap!

I’m not sure what they’re going to do with my character. My character is very, very broad and I don’t know who they’re going to find to play that.”

Right. Where else to find a stage vamp of notable girth in this business. I count one hundred off-hand. Not even including the tranny men who would kill for the role. 

It’s a mistake to think you’re not replaceable in this business. Even if you’re super talented and iconic, that’s simply not true. Eventually they’ll remake the Godfather and cast Bronson Pinchot as Don Corelone and a whole new generation will be doing Pinchot doing Brando. Don’t let the Caligula inspired sex parties fool you. This isn’t art, it’s commerce.