Imagine that you’re famous, rich, and presumably are known for your style. How do you go about proposing to someone in a way that will not only be romantic, but also resonate with your fans and be emblematic of your artistic vision? CHIPOTLE FLASH MOB. Fashion designer Marc Jacobs bravely came out as horrible by proposing to his boyfriend with the use of a flash mob in a Chipotle. The site of countless bloody sharts doubles as romance central as – after watching the cocaine-fueled dancers twirl semi-synchronized to Prince’s Kiss – Jacobs bends down on one knee to ask Charly Defrancesco to be his husband. And guys, he did it by the trash can. I think I’m going to cry. I mean die. Defrancesco acts surprised, but I’m not exactly sure what the hell he thought he was seeing if he didn’t know it was a proposal. One of those Chipotle flash mobs you hear about.
Whenever a chick says “I just love guacamole lol” I truly, in my hear of hearts, don’t care if she makes it another day on this Earth or not. And these are usually the kinds of girls who say “Do I want to pay a dollar for a scoop of guac on my burrito bowl? Hells to the ya!” And these are also the kinds of girls who like flash mobs. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that, for being a world-famous fashion designer, Marc Jacobs sure is a dumb bitch. And I don’t care if this was meant to be ironic. It’s tragic. So next time you’re at TJ Maxx and are about to buy an ugly fifteen dollar Marc by Marc Jacobs shirt mauled by a half dozen alternating yellow and red clearance stickers, just remember what you’re supporting: