Those who managed to not purposefully choke themselves to death on Milk Duds while suffering through The Hobbit probably realized that Evangeline Lilly had started to take some creative liberties with her face in 2013. Those liberties have since turned into a conceptual art project, but Lilly’s plasticy Real Housewives of Mordor face isn’t what we’re here to talk about. Although it should be.
Lilly is the twelve-thousandth celebrity to hop on the Marvel bandwagon and will portray something tragic called The Wasp in something tragic called Ant-Man and the Wasp. I’d like to think that this latest superhero movie is where Marvel will finally stumble, but it’ll probably make $5 billion dollars and be hailed as a cinematic breakthrough. Lilly is now making the publicity rounds, and while being interviewed by BackstageOL, she addressed the complaints that her male Marvel superhomo costars have had over their skin-tight costumes:
I have been hearing Marvel male superheroes complain about their suits for years. And I got into my suit and I was wearing it, working in it, doing my thing, and I was like, ‘[It’s] just not that bad.’ Do I have the most comfortable suit in the MCU, or [holds up her high-heeled foot for the camera] have men not had the life experience of being uncomfortable for the sake of looking good?
They’re just like, ‘What is this? This sucks. Why are we… why? Why do I have to go through this?’ Whereas a woman’s like, ‘I don’t know. This is like normal. I wear heels to work. I’m uncomfortable all day. You get used to it. You tune it out.’
In order to fully understand how uncomfortable a bodysuit would be for a man, Lilly would have to have a penis. Something she can quiz Scarlett Johansson about later. But overall I agree that men have it pretty damn easy when it comes to dressing up, especially here in the Midwest where 2000’s Tony Hawk for Kohl’s cargo shorts and an XXL 1990’s “Grababooty & Pinch” Abercrombie & Fitch knock-off graphic t-shirt count as formal wear. In terms of the millionaire actors complaining about being slightly uncomfortable with their junk molded into high and tight peaches up front – talk to miners with lungs that look like the Christmas stockings of bad kids. For guys complaining about their dicks, they sure are a bunch of pussies.
Photo Credit: Evangeline Lilly And Meg Donnelly From Getty Image / Pacific Coast News / Splash News