First off, this is fake news from the get-go. Plenty of men have handled the Jenndashians. Kind of the tentpole of their existence. You don’t want to downplay your strengths if your entire resume reads “Work Experience: Damp Hole.” Just bad business. Secondly, Kylie has a point in stating that her relationship with Drug Murder Face is tip-top secret while whoring herself and Murder Face out to widely-distributed magazine GQ for their August cover story that will be read by millions of people. So much mystery surrounding them. We knew the exact second a baby shot out of her puss, but sure, she’s Howard Hughes.
On the magazine’s new cover, Jenner looks like someone with a fat fetish went Photoshop crazy on the movie poster for Showgirls. Her baby daddy Travis Scott looks like he wants to murder her, and hopefully he will. Here’s what Kylie has to say about how intimidating her and her brothelmates are to men and friends:
They come and can’t handle it. I know these stories aren’t going to matter, so don’t even let them affect you, you know?…It’s not just men—it’s friends, it’s people who come and just don’t know how to handle it. It’s the negative. There’s a lot of people who love us, but there’s also a huge handful of people who don’t like us.
Not everyone wants to have a shot of penicillin handy when they hang out with their gal pals. And here’s Kylie on keeping her relationship with Scott super de duper private at his request:
I know he doesn’t like the attention. That’s why we keep our relationship super private, or like, if he has events or something, I won’t come. Because I want him to do his thing…I just flew to Houston to see him for a few hours. Cause we were fighting, and I was like, I just need to go. I didn’t tell anyone where or why…I was like, ‘I just need to go and fix this and go back.
When choosing to date a Jenndashian, the first phrase that comes to mind is “super private.” The second of course is “Your ass is leaking on the bedspread again.”
Photo Credit: GQ / Instagram / MEGA