Chrissy Metz Swears She Didn’t Call Alison Brie A Bitch

I generally don’t cover awards shows, especially the Golden Globes, because pandering to people so delusional they don’t realize those GG trophies are 100% bought and paid for (sometimes with nature’s credit card) seems unethical. Too easy. Enabling. Like selling vodka to Heather Locklear. Ya know? Anyway sassy starlet on the rise Chrissy Metz almost made me believe in the Golden Globes again when she called Alison Brie a bitch while yucking it up with two vampires on the red carpet. After the camera cuts away, we hear Metz say something that sounds suspiciously like “She’s such a bitch.” Leading the nation to think that maybe, just maybe, Metz has something to contribute to the entertainment industry.

But Metz put the rumor of her being interesting to rest when TMZ asked her to clarify her stance on Alison Brie. Metz swears that they’re friends, and that she does not, in fact, think that Alison Brie is a bitch. Brie is married to Dave Franco, who’s James Franco’s brother, so ya, she’s probably a bitch. But now we’ll never know for sure. Thanks for nothing Chrissy Metz. Bitch.*

*Clearly you call tell that I did not call her a bitch okay? I love her and we’re best friends.

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