Stella McCartney Blind To The Times

Stella McCartney got a lot of heat from her Instagram followers after posting a photo of a sickly looking model who probably needs a steak sandwich or twenty. Somebody’s got to sell the McCartney’s Summer 2015 collection of overpriced crap. A portion of the proceeds go to charity, although a larger portion go to McCartney’s third mortgage. After the post many of Stella’s followers freaked out and started a campaign to unfollow her on Instagram, the modern equivalent of being Ghandi for about four seconds. McCartney took the offending photo down and replaced it with a hotter model wearing the same shitty garment. Suck on that, haters.

Usually people who taunt a girl for being too skinny are bored fat chicks who think curves means you eat ice cream for lunch. Sometimes also their boyfriends who love the feeling of being smothered during sex because of something horrible that happened in their childhood. I rarely find myself on the boney chick shaming side, but clearly something other than this girl’s shoulders is askew. It’s possible this rail thin E.T. scarfs down three Denny’s Grand Slam breakfasts with a 900-calorie Jamba Juice finisher by eight am. But even more possible she exists on the small arthropods she can pick clean from the leaves in her live-in terrarium. It’s probably too late to get back the dough her parents paid to secrete her in a cargo container at age fourteen, but it’s never too late to pick her up and beat the crap out of Stella McCartney with her crumbly bones.

Photo Credit: Instagram